Cate Blanchett, who won an Academy Award for her role as the wise-cracking gunslinger Lilith, Jack Black, who had just finished voicing Bowser, will play the chirpy and annoying Claptrap, and Jamie Lee Curtis will be making her return to the genre after appearing in Everything Everywhere, All At Once. On paper, Eli Roth's adaptation of Borderlands sounds like a recipe for a solid science fiction romp. Nevertheless, the movie is a dull and uninteresting trudge that would be more appropriate for an episode of Mystery Science Theater. It absolutely wastes the potential that those parts have to offer.
The majority of Borderlands takes place on the wild alien planet of Pandora, just like the previous game did. It is obvious that the name Pandora ought to have been altered because people now identify it mostly with the Avatar films. The storyline and characters of the game undergo considerable transformations as a result of Roth's adaptation: It opens with Tiny Tina (Ariana Greenblatt) being liberated from a space jail by the former soldier Roland (Kevin Hart [?!]). Inexplicably, they stumble with the former Psycho, Kriege (Florian Munteanu), and together they all escape to uncover a famous vault on Pandora, which hides unimaginable extraterrestrial treasures.
While this is going on, Lilith is recruited by the head of the Atlas Corporation, Edgar Ramirez, who is a scenery-chewing character, to rescue Tina, who he claims is her daughter. This takes place in a city that is otherwise unremarkable on another planet. You are able to quickly anticipate the direction that the movie will go in, much like a maze that was hastily designed for a children's menu. Lilith unwillingly makes her way back to Pandora, where she joins forces with the other characters and the narrative points are completed with the same level of excitement as a trip to the Department of Motor Vehicles.
There are obligatory action scenes, as you'd expect, but it all feels ordinary — CG explosions, half-hearted choreography and minimal stakes.
Blanchett is an actress who has proven herself to have an incredible degree of range. As well as playing a pretentious conductor in Tár, she is capable of portraying the awesome and scary Galadriel in The Lord of the Rings. But while there are certain primal pleasures in seeing her rolling around with futuristic firearms, she just never feels comfortable in the skin of an action heroine. There is none of the intensity that Charlize Theron brings to her most physically demanding parts, or even Angelina Jolie, in a mediocre thriller like Salt (a film that, I can promise you, is a lot more enjoyable than Borderlands). Blanchett just seems too cool for this nonsense.
And unlike other films depicting a rag-tag crew of heroes, like Guardians of the Galaxy or the superb Dungeons and Dragons: Honor Among Thieves, there’s minimal time spent building up relationships in Borderlands. Roland appears noble, but we never really learn who he is and what’s pushing him to save Tina. (I also question the wisdom of hiring a comedian like Hart in a primarily straight role.) Krieg is a shell of a character that gets only a few lines of stunted dialog and no true growth. Jamie Lee Curtis’s position as the “xenoarcheologist” Tannis makes no sense at all. You may also read this: Greatest Soundbars Available To Improve 2024 Tv Audio
What you have, ultimately, is a boring film replete with hollow characters and actors who would be better off being in literally anything else. If Cate Blanchett gave out for a silly commercial campaign — if she reenacted Pacino’s Dunkaccino song for real — it would still be less embarrassing than acting in this flop. In an era where many game adaptations have been surprisingly watchable, like the Sonic and Super Mario Bros. movies, and a gem of a show like The Last of Us exists, Borderlands feels like an unforced misstep.
Instead of being a big-budget film, it could have been better suited as a streaming series like Fallout. Perhaps it didn’t need two Oscar winners and a well-known comic like Kevin Hart. They probably should have kept with the screenplay from the Chernobyl and Last of Us showrunnner Craig Mazin, instead of bringing in more writers. (One of the listed screenwriters is "Joe Crombie," a pseudonym for someone who didn’t want their name associated to this film.)
As it is, though, Borderlands is simply wasted potential. Go rerun the games — hell, go watch some of the Borderlands fan films — instead of suffering through this crap.
